I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea who you're talking about. If it's any help I suppose I can simply make something up. You see, in my position it's not all that uncommon to come along and ask for this kind of favour. I always refuse of course, but in this case I felt the need to make some kind of exception... It was about six months ago when, on a brief return to home territory, I was reminded of the fact that people actually still make 'popular music'. Needless to say, I don't know why they bother. It's beyond me, all this frivolous cantering about, but anyway, someone - I don't recall who - suggested that this rather humourless practice still occurred from time to time. To be quite blunt I can't stand being taken for a fool, so I took a train south to visit an old colleague. Those days we spent in Algiers seemed impossibly removed from the windswept, overcast, mildly depressing mess of a town. Over tea in the Cafe Continetnal I raised the subject. 'Oh yes', replied my friend ' you wouldn't believe what goes on down here. Shameless they are, all sorts of malingerers and hangers on. Why I heard of one just the other day - Jason Smart - apparently he's been at it for years, strumming his 'guitar' and 'singing to people I found this both shocking and sickening. There are a number of so called songs collected together on a 'CD' by this Jason Smart. Needless to say I shall never hear them, for fear of becoming tainted by his terrible illness. However it clearly my duty to pass on my knowledge of this afflcition to the world at large. My message is this: Jason Smart. Popular music. Beware. Whatever you do, for pity's sake be very, very careful. The Lord LoveJoy Westminster 1999